Liam From His Grandpa's Perspective

When Gary and Angie told Susan and me they were pregnant we were thrilled for them. They were excited at the prospect of having their first child and for the adventure of creating their own family.

When Liam was born he had some characteristics that were different but because he was a new infant we weren’t too concerned. As time went by Gary and Angie kept us informed about what the doctors were saying regarding the ridge on Liam’s forehead and other atypical behaviors and diet concerns. We live in Grants Pass and Gary and Angie live in Portland so we didn’t see Liam very often. When Liam was finally diagnosed as having autism Susan and I were upset and very concerned about the prospects for Liam and the family. We knew Liam had problems we just didn’t know what…so now we knew.

We had just a smattering of information about autism. Through Angie we learned how uninformed the medical community is about autism or how poor the communication is between the various medical disciplines that work with autism. Autism is a huge problem in the U.S. There is no definitive plan to address autism or the societal problems associated with the disease. It appears most of the cause and cure research results in conjecture conclusions. What is especially disturbing to Susan and me is that schools and the medical community are not communicating and sharing ideas. Indeed schools and the medical community aren’t sharing information between themselves. In fact, in some cases Gary and Angie were told, in essence, Liam has autism…get over it.

Susan and I watched a few TV programs on autism. Gary and Angie told us what they were doing for Liam. They told us what the schools and doctors were saying. They informed us of the options available to them. We became more educated about autism but we were still novices.

Angie felt frustrated because she knew in her heart there was more out there for Liam. She was and is determined to educate herself as much as she can. Angie took Liam to a highly regarded physician on the east coast for tests and diagnosis plus she read everything she could get her hands on. Consequently, Angie, in my opinion, is one of the most well informed people in the U.S. on autism. She didn’t accept the “Liam has autism…get over it” concept. She informed Gary of her opinions and findings. Together they set a course for Liam. They hired therapists to work with Liam at home five days a week. They built a special playroom/classroom in their basement for Liam and Claire. Both of them worked with Liam every day as parents and therapists. They take Liam to the store, restaurants, parks, bicycling, to their friends’ homes and other places to keep him exposed to the real world. Their efforts resulted in huge improvement in many areas. Liam can read simple sentences, he can now speak clearly in short sentences, and he listens to some extent when people talk to him. He used to melt down just getting a hair cut or to sudden loud noises; not anymore.



At times Liam likes to crawl up in Susan’s or my lap and snuggle. Other times he doesn’t acknowledge we’re in the room. Liam still has melt downs when he doesn’t get his way (typical of many kids that age) and his attention span is very limited (typical of many kids that age).

When Liam was about two Gary and Angie announced they had a surprise visit from the stork. Of course they were worried as was the family. All the thoughts of having another child with autism plus the additional financial burden and divided attention away from Liam could pose even more problems. As it turned out Claire was born a beautiful typical child. She is a blessing to Gary, Angie and Liam. Claire loves Liam, follows him around, plays with him and “turns him in” when he gets in trouble. Claire is probably our last grandchild.

About a year ago Gary and Angie bought a dog for Liam and Claire. Chester is a saint. He lets the kids pull his tail, pull his hair, pull his ears, push him, and other such kids stuff. From Chester’s standpoint he must think the kids are fun but annoying.

The Paquin and Coffee families have contributed to Liam’s needs in all sorts of ways. I think Gary and Angie know both families stand ready to help where they can.

Susan’s and my knowledge about autism is still limited mostly to what Gary and Angie tell us. We want to know more, especially about what progress the medical community and schools are making in their respective professions and how they are sharing information. Our biggest concern is Liam’s future. What is going to be available to keep his progress moving? What will Gary and Angie have for options as Liam becomes an adult? Susan is a worrier…she worries about everything especially if it pertains to our family. I’m more pragmatic. I am really concerned but I don’t tend to worry about things I can do nothing about.

I applaud Angie for her research, her stubbornness with the “experts”, her decisiveness, her determination to get Liam all he needs and her ability to juggle a job and still be a great mom, wife, and teacher. I admire Gary for his skills as a dad, his incredible patience with Liam, and his ability to be the breadwinner, husband, and family rock.

As a grandfather, I firmly believe God wanted Liam born for a reason. He placed Liam in the absolutely best family possible. Liam is a beautiful child and fabulous grandchild. Liam’s destiny is wrapped around a purpose only God knows. But, I’ll tell you what, whatever his destiny, Liam has the spirit and personality to be great at whatever he does.
Liam’s very existence is meant to influence, educate, humble, and show to all people he meets that he has a higher calling. Liam is not handicapped, disabled, or autistic. He has autism but more importantly he is a special province in this world that is not available to the “normal child”

With his parents’ amazing role in his life and the support of the Paquins and Coffees it’s going to be an interesting journey. I couldn’t be more proud of my son and my daughter-in-law.

Phil Paquin, Liam’s Grandpapa