Movie Review

Over Labor Day we took the kids to a movie. This is a rare event because we don’t always know how Liam is going to handle the theatre experience. The results have been mixed in the past depending on what the movie is and what kind of day he is having and what he has eaten, etc. But since we went to this movie I thought I would review it.

The movie we went to see was Up, the latest Pixar film. It was playing at a theatre that is part of a community center in a renovated elementary school that has bars and a restaurant and overnight rooms and a soaking pool and banquet rooms and one gym that is still a gym and another gym that was converted into a theatre, but instead of theatre chairs it had rows of sofas and comfy chairs and the best part is that you can drink beer and eat pizza while watching the movie. So, going into it I knew I was going to like this movie.

We went on Sunday before Labor Day and the movie started at 5:30. I was figuring we would get there at around 4:30 but didn’t account for Angie’s “getting ready” time so we didn’t really get there until 5:00 and it was already crowded. I was starting to not like this movie because the lines were long and it was filling up fast. Sure enough they sold out before we got through the line. Liam was already starting to have some trouble tolerating the wait in line and we were bracing ourselves for a meltdown as we told the kids we weren’t going to see the movie today. To our surprise, Claire was the one to lose it. She couldn’t understand why we couldn’t see the movie and began crying and didn’t want to leave. This of course always starts Liam on the same path but we decided to go to the restaurant and eat dinner. For Liam much of the time all you have to say is “fries” and he’s OK if he’s not too hungry to begin with. If he’s too hungry then waiting for the fries can be painful as he repeatedly smacks the table or knocks over saltshakers while saying, “Fries? Fries?” over and over. So, although I wasn’t enjoying the movie at this point, we successfully distracted both kids with dinner out and a promise to come back earlier the next day to see the movie.

The next day we came earlier and got through the line pretty quickly. We had pizza, popcorn, soda, and beer and we staked out a couch all to ourselves that had a table in front of it. So far so good. Liam sat on the aisle side by Angie. Claire was in the middle and I was on the other end. When we take Liam to movies it’s always good to have an exit strategy. We decided that if he needed to leave it was my turn to take him. He was already restless but so far I was enjoying the movie because Claire was easy to sit by and I had a beer in my hand. We just had to wait for the movie to start to see how Liam would do.

When Liam is restless or bored in a theatre or restaurant the first thing he starts saying is “Potty? Go potty? Wanna go potty?” And of course this time was no different. I had to take him knowing that this was just the first of many trips to the bathroom. In the bathroom Liam will stand at the urinal and flush several times before he’s even done and then walk to any other toilet with his pants around his ankles flushing as many times as he can before I am freed up enough to stop him. It’s hard to get him focused in a public restroom because there is so much to play with. He loves turning the faucet on and off and if there is an electric paper towel dispenser it is hard to get him away from that. All in all Liam is not very eco-friendly with the amount of water and paper that is wasted in public restrooms.

We got back to the couch and I settled back in with my beer. I took one sip and there it was again, “Potty? Wanna go Potty?”
“You just went Liam.” I said.
“What if he has to go poop?” Angie said. I knew she was going to say that.
So back we went and this time I just sat him on the toilet because I knew he wasn’t going to do it himself. At home he is fine by himself but like I said a public restroom is just too distracting. He sat there and started unrolling the toilet paper until I stopped him and he said, “All done?”

Back to the couch and the movie was starting. Oh, and I grabbed another beer on the way back even though I was barely started with my first one. I just knew I was going to need it.

So, Up is about an old man who is alone and is living by himself in an old house surrounded by development and he refuses to leave when developers want his property. The old man is voiced by Lou Grant from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Lou Grant gets this idea to tie a bunch of balloons to his house and…
“Potty? Go Potty?”
“Come on…”
“Make sure you sit him on the toilet this time.” Said Angie.
“I did last time. He didn’t go. Come on Liam.”
“Yeah go potty.”

We went. Still nothing.

We came back and the movie was really getting interesting. There was a lot of dialogue and those parts were hard for Liam. If he wasn’t into what was happening on the screen he would kick the couch in front of us or smack his hands on the table or flop around or try to slide down to the floor. But there were exciting parts too and that is where Liam would start to get into it. The house floats up and away and there is a little kid that stows away on Lou Grant’s house and they end up in this weird land and get chased by a pack of dogs that are trained by this old explorer that lives in this land and…
“Potty?”
“Yeeees….”
This time we had success so I knew that I could say no to any more potty requests from here on out. I was really enjoying the movie and I didn’t want to be interrupted any more. Claire was also liking it and so was Angie. I was pretty sure Liam wasn’t going to make it through.

We got back to the couch and I was a little lost but still liking the movie. Lou Grant was having to match wits with the old explorer that turns out to be evil…
“Potty?”
“Nope.”
“Potty? Potty?!” Liam was starting to get louder.
“Liam, you don’t need to go.”
Liam started smacking the table again and it was becoming apparent that this was just going to escalate if I didn’t take him out of there. I won’t spoil the end of the movie for you because I don’t know how it ends.
“Come on Liam.”

We left the theatre and walked down the hall past the restroom.
“Potty?”
“No Liam.”
“No Potty.”
We left the building and got in the car. I figured we would drive around a little. I had to go to the bank anyway so we could kill time until the movie was out.
“Movie?” Said Liam
“Are you serious?” He was just not interested in the movie and now he wanted to go back in. I thought about it for about two seconds and said, “No let’s get some fries.”
“Fries.”
We drove to the bank first and that was a mistake because Liam had it in his mind that we were getting fries and did not anticipate any other stops before that. He started screaming and hitting and kicking the back of the seat in front of him.
“We are going to get fries buddy. We just have to stop here first.”
“Fries?!”
“Yes, we will okay?”
“Fries.” He was calming down a little but still unstable.

I finished at the bank and we were on our way to Burgerville for fries.
“Fries? Fries?!”
“Yes Liam We are getting fries.”
“Aw man…” He must have been hungrier than I thought because he was just really agitated.
We got to the drive through and I ordered the fries. There were a few cars ahead of us so it was taking longer than Liam’s liking. He was hitting and kicking the seat again and screaming, “Fries?!…Aw man!”
We got the fries and I knew once he ate them he would start to calm down but I didn’t dare give him the whole bag because I knew in the state he was in he would just throw them or dump them on the floor. I gave him one fry and he ate it. I started driving back toward the theatre. I gave him another fry and he threw it my head. I gave him another one and he ate it. He did pretty well for the most part but about every fifth fry was pinging me in the back of the head. He was a pretty good shot.

By the time we got back, the fries were gone and Liam was over his meltdown. We pulled into the parking lot and Liam said, “Movie?”
“Yep.” I said thinking that it was probably over by now. And even if it wasn’t I knew Liam wouldn’t sit through the rest of it. I was hoping I timed it right. We went back in the building and walked down the hall toward the theatre and there were Angie and Claire coming out. I did time it right.

So overall I give the whole movie experience two out of five stars but I’m thinking that score will go up as soon as I am able to rent it and sit in my basement with a beer watching it by myself. I’m really looking forward to that.